New York's Favorite Storyteller

New York's Favorite Storyteller

Getting An Oil Change Has Its Problems

"I can't find the damn thing!!"

Chuck D'Imperio's avatar
Chuck D'Imperio
Jul 29, 2025
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Three wrenches are arranged on orange and black paper.
Photo by Jorge Campos on Unsplash

I purchased a new car about a year and a half ago. We have two automobiles so this one, a Ford Escape, gets driven half the miles our family travels.

Recently I went to one of those fancy drive-through car washes. It is the kind of place that is next to an express oil change shop, on the same lot. I pulled in and ordered up my car wash, put the car in neutral, and then slowly went through the time-machine journey of sprays, rages, blow dryers, soap, wind machines, and waxing stations (do they still hype Carnauba Wax as an extra?), and rolled to a stop. The workers diligently washed and scrubbed my tires and hand dried my car and I was sent next door to get my already paid for oil change.

red white and black abstract painting
Photo by Erik Mclean on Unsplash
a man is washing a car with a hose
Photo by lucas clarysse on Unsplash

I pulled up to the oil change business, one that I didn’t need to get out of the car at, and the attendant, the name on his shirt was stitched “Big Pat,” took my ticket, told me to pull forward, and pop open my hood. I did so. Almost.

I suddenly realized that I had never opened the hood of my car! In a year and a half!

I panicked as Big Pat waited patiently. I could not find the “secret spot” to open the hood. I looked in the side panels, under the dash, under the seat, on the steering wheel column. Help!!

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